Healing

"This is where the healing begins, oh
This is where the healing starts
When you come to where you're broken within
The light meets the dark
The light meets the dark"

           ~Tenth Avenue North

Last night at the gym, this song came up on my playlist. I almost skipped it. The cadence was too slow to match my elliptical steps. But, I love this song so I let it play.

I'm glad I did.

This song speaks to me on many levels ~ emotional, spiritual, and mental. But last night I realized something. Getting into physical shape is also a process of healing. I am still fleshing out what that really means but I see progress in small increments as I go.

My body is sick. I've neglected it. I've abused it. I've put the wrong things into it and expected perfection to come out. Insanity.

But, slowly it is healing.

I don't crave sugar as much as before.

I'm sleeping deeply and peacefully.

I am satisfied with MUCH less food.

After a workout I don't hurt quite as much.

I go back to the gym. Again. And again.

I have been pushing my body past the point of ease ~ breaking down those walls if you will. I am not obsessing, I am just working hard. And it feels good.

The outward change hasn't begun (at least as far as I can tell) so I have to remind myself of these smaller steps of healing. And the joy that comes from losing some of the chains that have held me for far too long.

Here is the song in its entirety. If you have something that has held you (or you hold onto and can't let go), let these words sink in... Let the healing begin.

"Healing Begins"
So you thought you had to keep this up
All the work that you do
So we think that you're good
And you can't believe it's not enough
All the walls you built up
Are just glass on the outside

So let 'em fall down
There's freedom waiting in the sound
When you let your walls fall to the ground
We're here now

This is where the healing begins, oh
This is where the healing starts
When you come to where you're broken within
The light meets the dark
The light meets the dark

Afraid to let your secrets out
Everything that you hide
Can come crashing through the door now
But too scared to face all your fear
So you hide but you find
That the shame won't disappear

So let it fall down
There's freedom waiting in the sound
When you let your walls fall to the ground
We're here now
We're here now, oh

This is where the healing begins, oh
This is where the healing starts
When you come to where you're broken within
The light meets the dark
The light meets the dark

Sparks will fly as grace collides
With the dark inside of us
So please don't fight
This coming light
Let this blood come cover us
His blood can cover us

This is where the healing begins, oh
This is where the healing starts
When you come to where you're broken within
The light meets the dark
The light meets the dark 

~Tenth Avenue North