Wednesday, July 10, 2013

I am learning....

Here I am ~ it is summer. Mid summer actually! Where does the time go anyway? 

I am deep in planning mode for the upcoming school year. I spent about 4 months feeling my wheels spin over next school year. Whether or not we would continue to homeschool was not in question. What WAS in question is what exactly we would study and HOW it would look. 

I researched. I talked to people. I researched some more. I talked to people ~ again. I finally sat down a few days ago to start ordering materials. And then I went cold.

Suddenly nothing seemed right. I thought I had made up my mind. But, there was no peace. And, I couldn't for the life of me figure what was causing the unease.

Wait, did you catch that? ~ I thought I had made up MY mind.

Like I'm the director of this life we lead.

I'm reminded of the story in Matthew 7 of the wise and foolish men who built their houses on rock and sand. In this story, Jesus is explaining that people who hear His words and put them into practice are like the man who builds his house on a rock. When the rains come, the house stands strong. This stands in contrast to a man who would build his house on the sand. When rain comes, the sand is washed away and so is his house! 

I think I've always subconsciously thought the man who built his house on the sand was either lazy or stupid. It never occurred to me that these men could have both been hard workers or good builders. It takes a lot of work and skill to build a house. Blood, sweat and tears. It never says these men were lazy.And, it also doesn't say one was smart and the other stupid. It says one made a wise choice and the other made a foolish choice as to where they built their house. 

I can imagine the one who built his house on the sand walking around and saying "Hey, this looks like a nice spot for a house. Beautiful view. Soft yard. I can see my ship from here" and set to work building. I imagine he worked hard and probably had a beautiful house But here's the thing ~ he started on the wrong foundation.

Kind of like me. I am more like that man than I would care to admit. I set about doing what I think is best and most effective. I try and make our school "just so". I want it to run smoothly. I want our kids to have "enough" (whatever that is). I want to be set up for success.

But, I forget to stop and find our Rock. I forget to make sure the foundation is secure before I set to work.

Three days ago I remembered that I forgot. And I went back to the drawing board.

I prayed. I asked the One who loves us all more than life what was the best course for our school. I asked Him to show me what was best for each of my kids.

Then something crazy happened.

The spinning stopped. 

He led me back to big picture of goals for the year for each child. His goals.

And, once we had goals, we could make a plan.

Everyone knows that storms will come ~ regardless of your spot in life. It is inevitable. As a homeschool family, sometimes those storms come to our school. I have weathered many stormy days. But, I am realizing something. When I feel I am being washed under the bridge by the storm, maybe I was building on myself  instead of Someone stronger than me.

I pray I remember this the next time it rains. 



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