A block for "me"

We are preparing to start our fifth year homeschooling.

It hardly seems possible to me. 

When we embarked on this journey, we carried the attitude of "taking it one year at a time" and to do it as long as we felt led to do so. Somewhere along the way, it became more permanent.

I know there are lots of thoughts, feelings, and opinions about homeschooling. If you are going to read much on my blog, you need to know that I believe homeschooling to be a wonderfully rich, rewarding, and viable educational choice. You also need to know that I fully understand homeschooling is not for every parent, child, family, or situation. I love living in a place where we retain the right to choose what works best for each of our families. I do my best to support and encourage others on this journey and welcome those same things in return.

You also need to know that our school is a work in progress.

I am a work in progress.

Every year as I evaluate the past and look towards the future I realize something new ~ something that needs to change. And, inevitably I'm surprised by the revelations.

One year I discovered I'd spent too much time feeling jealous and left out with friends because they were able to go to lunch in the middle of the day. I felt there was this entire world I was missing out on. My "a-ha moment" came when it dawned on me that I could do lunch in the middle of the week ~ on the day of the week my hubby was off (he has an atypical schedule ~ one of the reasons homeschooling does work for us). I could still participate. It just took a little more forethought and planning.  The world doesn't revolve around me and sometimes I just need to speak up and take some initiative. 

Lesson learned. Problem solved.

I am currently on day three of intense planning for the upcoming year. I have been giving my new planner a workout as we crystallize goals for the new year and make strategic plans. Tonight, as I was considering the best way to organize my weekly overview for school, I noticed a thought in the instruction part of the planner: "Put your own daily duties on the grid too" with an arrow drawn to a block in the sample with the word "me" written in. And, I was struck with this thought:

Put YOURSELF on the calendar.

Maybe I'm the only one out there who forgets to do this. Maybe I'm the only one who makes sure they consider meal plans, school schedules, work commitments, extracurricular activities, social engagements, birthdays, or any-stinking-thing else besides themselves.

But, I suspect I'm not.

I have a sneaking suspicion that if you are breathing while you are reading this, you have at some point forgotten to make a note of your own needs. I'm not talking about ignoring everyone else and living a selfish life. But, I am talking about taking care of yourself, acknowledging your needs, and valuing yourself as well as everyone else.

Can I encourage you as I encourage myself? Jesus says, "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength. And... love your neighbor as yourself" Mark 12:30-31. If I am to effectively love and care for others, it is imperative that I first love God and then love and care for myself. 

I am learning. And, so can you.

Find a way to put your needs on the table. Maybe you want to exercise, or do a devotion, or write in a journal (or a blog), or meet a friend for coffee, or start a business, or get a facial, or - I don't know - have 10 minutes to inhale, exhale and remember who you are. It doesn't need to be a million things a day, just something to remind yourself you matter. Because friend, you DO matter.

If scheduling yourself in is what it takes to make yourself a priority, then do it! Let's put ourselves on our own checklists!

That's one box I'll be happy to mark as "completed" at the end of the day... How about you?

If you plant it, it will grow... or not!

I want to be a gardener. I really do.

It seems pretty intuitive ~ lay some dirt, dig some holes, plant some seeds or plants, water them, harvest food, enjoy some food you grew yourself and maybe have a little to put away for winter. Except, it doesn't work this way for me.

Ever.

For two years, we worked to establish a garden in the back of our yard. So. Much. Work. Shoveling, hauling, dumping, spreading, shoveling, hauling, dumping, spreading.... over and over again. The first year, out of everything planted, we got tomatoes. Just tomatoes. The second year, we got nothing. Nada. Zilch.

The next two years I didn't even bother. Oh, I wanted to. But, I couldn't bring myself to fight it. I realized the location wasn't right and moving the garden felt like too huge a task. It made me sad though. I felt like we were wasting an opportunity or missing out somehow.

This spring my hubby surprised me by building some new raised beds from scrap lumber in the garage. He knows that deep down I really want to make this work. Presented with this gesture from him, we set out to try again.

It was no easy task, but we relocated the garden to a sunnier spot. I researched companion planting. I made a planting grid that closely resembled a wedding reception seating chart ~ "Tomatoes don't like beans but they love peppers. Broccoli and cauliflower can be kind of picky but cucumbers love almost everyone." Once we had a plan, we planted the garden and let me tell you something ~

It. Looked. AMAZING!!! We were all so excited and I just knew THIS was going to be the year.

And then, the chipmunks arrived.

I'm pretty sure my children heard new (and maybe not completely appropriate) words because of those blasted creatures! The dug up every single seedling just before it broke through the surface. Every one. Except the radishes, thank you very much. The chipmunks and I went to war, and because I am higher on the food chain than they are, I came out on top.

Or so I thought.

We replanted and salvaged what we could and for a while I was lulled into thinking we had turned a corner with our garden. We had some salads with our own lettuce. The radishes went wild. Bean, cucumber, and pepper plants were growing and showing promising signs of great production. We even found one lone watermelon sprout that had escaped the seedling radar of the chipmunks.

And then, I found my first red, ripe tomato. I picked it feeling full of hope, promise, and accomplishment.  Until I saw the bite already taken out of the bottom of it. I turned around to throw it over our back fence and noticed another tomato already on the ground, half eaten. I started looking around my garden and noticed more half eaten food. Then I saw a chipmunk run back under the deck.

#*&$^#*#*$&#*$!!!!!

When we planted the garden this year, we prayed and asked God to teach us more about life and our relationship with Him through our experience. That prayer has definitely been answered. Now that you know the beginning of the story, I would love to share some of those lessons with you in future posts.

In the meantime, you can find me supporting our local farmers at the farmer's markets. Apparently, I've been feeding all the chipmunks over here so their crops can grow in abundance!

“Build homes, and plan to stay. Plant gardens, and eat the food they produce." Jeremiah 29:5

When the day isn't pretty...

I hate when people complain online.

On the other hand, blogs that only post the happy / inspiring / uplifting / picture perfect stuff drives me nuts.

I prefer the "eclectic blogger". And, my favorite is when they help me realize I'm normal.

Today, my sweet boy karate chopped my recovering surgery thumb while I was trying to help him put on his shoe after swim lessons. Apparently, he didn't like that while putting on said shoe I joked "Here you go Cinderella ~ let me put on your pretty slipper"... He thought it was funny for a nano-second and then he decided he didn't like it. His dad told him that it was never ok to hit me. But later, after the kids were in bed, his dad also told me not to tease our son.

Point taken.

I feel a little bad my boy thought I was teasing him. But, in my defense, I may or may not find myself wanting to resort to the behavior of a 3 year old these days. My kids are sick of each other, sick of the house, and sick of the same old same old. And, their preferred mode of communicating these feelings is to pick a fight with each other over anything and everything. It's making me bat-you know what-crazy. Cray-Cray. Totes cray-cray. I won't bore you with the details. They are really irrelevant anyway. Whatever one says, the other says the opposite. They each know the right buttons to push and they do ~ All. Day. Long.

I am an only child so this dynamic is new to me. Trust me, my family is it's own brand of crazy but my stuffed animals never did things on purpose just to torture me. All those years I wished I had a brother or sister? Yeah, I didn't miss being annoyed.

I wish I had some big revelation or take away ~ but some days all you can do is just survive. I'm happy to report that by the time everyone went to bed, apologies were made, forgiveness was given, hugs and love prevailed and everyone under the age of 10 looks adorable to me again.

Tomorrow, we try again.

May the force be with us all.


"The faithful love of the Lord never ends. His mercies never cease. Great is his faithfulness; his mercies begin afresh each morning."
Lamentations 3:22-23