A block for "me"

We are preparing to start our fifth year homeschooling.

It hardly seems possible to me. 

When we embarked on this journey, we carried the attitude of "taking it one year at a time" and to do it as long as we felt led to do so. Somewhere along the way, it became more permanent.

I know there are lots of thoughts, feelings, and opinions about homeschooling. If you are going to read much on my blog, you need to know that I believe homeschooling to be a wonderfully rich, rewarding, and viable educational choice. You also need to know that I fully understand homeschooling is not for every parent, child, family, or situation. I love living in a place where we retain the right to choose what works best for each of our families. I do my best to support and encourage others on this journey and welcome those same things in return.

You also need to know that our school is a work in progress.

I am a work in progress.

Every year as I evaluate the past and look towards the future I realize something new ~ something that needs to change. And, inevitably I'm surprised by the revelations.

One year I discovered I'd spent too much time feeling jealous and left out with friends because they were able to go to lunch in the middle of the day. I felt there was this entire world I was missing out on. My "a-ha moment" came when it dawned on me that I could do lunch in the middle of the week ~ on the day of the week my hubby was off (he has an atypical schedule ~ one of the reasons homeschooling does work for us). I could still participate. It just took a little more forethought and planning.  The world doesn't revolve around me and sometimes I just need to speak up and take some initiative. 

Lesson learned. Problem solved.

I am currently on day three of intense planning for the upcoming year. I have been giving my new planner a workout as we crystallize goals for the new year and make strategic plans. Tonight, as I was considering the best way to organize my weekly overview for school, I noticed a thought in the instruction part of the planner: "Put your own daily duties on the grid too" with an arrow drawn to a block in the sample with the word "me" written in. And, I was struck with this thought:

Put YOURSELF on the calendar.

Maybe I'm the only one out there who forgets to do this. Maybe I'm the only one who makes sure they consider meal plans, school schedules, work commitments, extracurricular activities, social engagements, birthdays, or any-stinking-thing else besides themselves.

But, I suspect I'm not.

I have a sneaking suspicion that if you are breathing while you are reading this, you have at some point forgotten to make a note of your own needs. I'm not talking about ignoring everyone else and living a selfish life. But, I am talking about taking care of yourself, acknowledging your needs, and valuing yourself as well as everyone else.

Can I encourage you as I encourage myself? Jesus says, "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength. And... love your neighbor as yourself" Mark 12:30-31. If I am to effectively love and care for others, it is imperative that I first love God and then love and care for myself. 

I am learning. And, so can you.

Find a way to put your needs on the table. Maybe you want to exercise, or do a devotion, or write in a journal (or a blog), or meet a friend for coffee, or start a business, or get a facial, or - I don't know - have 10 minutes to inhale, exhale and remember who you are. It doesn't need to be a million things a day, just something to remind yourself you matter. Because friend, you DO matter.

If scheduling yourself in is what it takes to make yourself a priority, then do it! Let's put ourselves on our own checklists!

That's one box I'll be happy to mark as "completed" at the end of the day... How about you?

I am learning....

Here I am ~ it is summer. Mid summer actually! Where does the time go anyway? 

I am deep in planning mode for the upcoming school year. I spent about 4 months feeling my wheels spin over next school year. Whether or not we would continue to homeschool was not in question. What WAS in question is what exactly we would study and HOW it would look. 

I researched. I talked to people. I researched some more. I talked to people ~ again. I finally sat down a few days ago to start ordering materials. And then I went cold.

Suddenly nothing seemed right. I thought I had made up my mind. But, there was no peace. And, I couldn't for the life of me figure what was causing the unease.

Wait, did you catch that? ~ I thought I had made up MY mind.

Like I'm the director of this life we lead.

I'm reminded of the story in Matthew 7 of the wise and foolish men who built their houses on rock and sand. In this story, Jesus is explaining that people who hear His words and put them into practice are like the man who builds his house on a rock. When the rains come, the house stands strong. This stands in contrast to a man who would build his house on the sand. When rain comes, the sand is washed away and so is his house! 

I think I've always subconsciously thought the man who built his house on the sand was either lazy or stupid. It never occurred to me that these men could have both been hard workers or good builders. It takes a lot of work and skill to build a house. Blood, sweat and tears. It never says these men were lazy.And, it also doesn't say one was smart and the other stupid. It says one made a wise choice and the other made a foolish choice as to where they built their house. 

I can imagine the one who built his house on the sand walking around and saying "Hey, this looks like a nice spot for a house. Beautiful view. Soft yard. I can see my ship from here" and set to work building. I imagine he worked hard and probably had a beautiful house But here's the thing ~ he started on the wrong foundation.

Kind of like me. I am more like that man than I would care to admit. I set about doing what I think is best and most effective. I try and make our school "just so". I want it to run smoothly. I want our kids to have "enough" (whatever that is). I want to be set up for success.

But, I forget to stop and find our Rock. I forget to make sure the foundation is secure before I set to work.

Three days ago I remembered that I forgot. And I went back to the drawing board.

I prayed. I asked the One who loves us all more than life what was the best course for our school. I asked Him to show me what was best for each of my kids.

Then something crazy happened.

The spinning stopped. 

He led me back to big picture of goals for the year for each child. His goals.

And, once we had goals, we could make a plan.

Everyone knows that storms will come ~ regardless of your spot in life. It is inevitable. As a homeschool family, sometimes those storms come to our school. I have weathered many stormy days. But, I am realizing something. When I feel I am being washed under the bridge by the storm, maybe I was building on myself  instead of Someone stronger than me.

I pray I remember this the next time it rains.